I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
