nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
