remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
this will be a night to untag.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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