so that wasnt chicken after all
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
