what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
