Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
