I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize