Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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