this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
