So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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