North Korea, Best Korea!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He shit in the fireplace
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
