You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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