dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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