Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
