Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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