just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
