But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
