I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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