'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
