so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
