just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
