Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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