I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
