I want to make a zoo with you.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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