I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
