Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
