I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
