Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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