I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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