What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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