So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
