some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
