Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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