I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize