Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
