It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
