yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
