I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
