We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
