Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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