I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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