they need to just BURY HIM!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
