you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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