He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
