How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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