Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
