i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
