I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
