Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize