i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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