I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
