ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
