My first STD was from a foam party
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My bed smells like the plague
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