you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
