the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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