Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
