im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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