ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
