gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
