using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
