He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
