My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
